‘The Athlete; the Ambassador; the Icon”. As he looks for a new club, Newcastle striker Michael Owen is being touted to potential suitors using a 32-page brochure listing all the qualities of Brand Owen
The brochure, which looks as though it may have been thrown together with an old copy of PageMaker at his agent’s office, runs through Owen’s career to date, goalscoring record and press cuttings, but it’s this page that we found particularly interesting – his Brand Values.
Owen’s Brand Values, we are told, are that he is Clean & Fresh (is this a footballer or a lavatory cleaner they are selling?), Young (he’s 29, maybe that should be ‘a bit younger than you thought’), Articulate (hmmmm) and, bizarrely, Technical.
He is also Global, Cool (really?) and First Class.
There follows a run of pages seeking to reassure potential buyers that he really isn’t injured all the time
And that, despite what Newcastle fans may have thought, he has “unquenched desire” for success.
And in summary…
For anyone who remembers him doing this, it’s all very sad and not a little tawdry.