Trainspotting’s famous Choose Life speech has had an update for the sequel. Could you write a better version? Write your 2017 Choose Life speech for us and you could win a limited edition Trainspotting screenprint
AMV BBDO’s campaign for COPI shines a light on sewage spills in UK waterways with the help of a faecal-inspired font
Since losing his sight at the age of 19, the filmmaker has gone on to write and direct his first feature film, shoot a Super Bowl ad for Google, and set up a non-profit to help the next generation of disabled creative talent
We ease you gently into the fourth series of Creative Review’s podcast with a discussion on humour in advertising, looking at what works and what doesn’t
Speaking to experts in architecture and design, CR looks into how accessible wayfinding has improved by subtly tapping into other senses, and what it needs to do to be truly inclusive
In the first of a new interview series, Anna Higgs talks to Glenn Kitson about combining a career as an ad director with being a ‘meme lord’, and his strategies to stay centred and fresh in a world which can often just want more of the same
Aubrey Plaza stars in a spelling bee contest through the ages as part of a new short from Loewe, which addresses the long-standing confusion over how to pronounce the fashion brand’s name
Non-fungible tokens experienced a gold rush a couple of years ago, before mainstream interest waned and the market went into decline. Artist Robert Alice, who has edited an extensive new book on NFTs, talks to us about one of the most elusive, and divisive, web3 developments
The Anatomy of a Movie Poster exhibition brings together the award-winning designer’s portfolio of posters for films including The Silence of the Lambs, Little Miss Sunshine, and The Grand Budapest Hotel
Opening Line founder Zosia Swidlicka discusses why the world of brand language remains so misunderstood, and how it inspired her to create her new publication Between the Lines
An exhibition and accompanying monograph sheds light on the work of the photographer, designer and art director, who transformed the pages of Harper’s Bazaar over nearly a quarter of a century
It’s easy to assume that making the leap into movies is the holy grail for those in advertising, but the path between the two industries is far from one way
Shifting online success into the real world requires a delicate balance of staying authentic to the digital community while allowing space for others to join, says Paul Tynan, creative director at I-Am
Choose life;
Choose high prospect future careers.
Choose rights equalities and support LGBT.
Choose Crossfit, sushi nights and streaming on demand.
Choose your followers and Spotify’s top 100.
Choose highly refined liquor and legal pharmaceutics supplies over growing seeds;
eCommerce product thumbnails instead of fresh touchable fruit.
Choose to experience life through retina display on a nanotech eco-couch, mentally jerking off with no purpose at all,
hoping for science to crack inmortality before your meaningless;
out-of-the-box,
massively series produced life,
expires.
Choose leave.
Choose Brexit.
Choose Trump.
Choose big fucking protests.
Choose change, ban, left parties and building a wall.
Choose gluten-free, no smoking and vapor sticks.
Choose unsocial social media.
Choose a profile pic.
REQUEST your friends.
Choose sharing privacy and gaining followers.
Choose a photo, Snapchat in a range of fucking filters.
Choose selfies wondering why the fuck you’re taking a photo in the toilet on a Saturday night.
Choose uploading said selfie while hoards of men swipe your insecurities from left to right, whilst relishing in unwanted wanted attention.
Choose been exacerbated at the end of it all.
Voting for some miserable outcome because you know you will be more miserably fucked-up with the opposition.
Choose a change.
Choose leave…but why would I want to do a thing like that?
Choose Levi’s for jeans,
Choose Heinz for baked beans,
Choose the same as before,
And as the stranger next door.
Choose to retweet or like,
Choose to retreat or strike,
Choose to donate or take,
Choose to buy or to make.
To choose? An illusion!
This consumerist profusion’s
Just vague personality
That chews fat with banality.
So go choose something different,
Choose friends good and vociferant,
Choose wings Spitfire, not butterfly—
And choose the wonder less traveled by.
Choose life.
A job you hate.
A family who hate you.
Endless, friendless, Facebook friendships.
Choose suffocating commutes and ill-fitting sweatshop suits.
Choose overpriced tasteless coffee and Tony Blair’s biography.
Choose binge watching ‘the next big series’, big macs and a fucking beer belly.
Choose hangovers and cigarettes, takeaways and sick days.
Choose overdrafts and credit cards, cheap holidays and STIs.
Choose protein shakes and hapless tinder dates.
Choose this season’s skinny jeans and rip-off anti-ageing creams.
Choose online petitions.
The same politicians.
Live on small change.
Make no change.
Choose endless scrolling and social trolling.
Choose #instagood #tagsforlikes #thighgap #selfie
Choose Twitter, Facebook, Snapchat, fuck that.
Choose CCTV, HMRC, MDMA, ADHD.
Choose LOL, WTF, OMG, FML.
Yeah, that’s right.
Fuck my life.
Fuck life.
Here’s my submission CR guys, thanks a bunch.
choose…
signing in
signing on
to drive through
to walk past
going viral
vaccinations
automatic doors
closed borders
plant-based
animal waste
to feast
to fast
streaming music
starving artists
the winning race
to lose face
a little donation
a large latte
to travel
to really travel
your gender
your job title
pillowtalk
that blue screen glow
information
isolation
a departed kingdom
disconnection.
Choose….
virtual love,
simulated life,
the bits in between,
the early mornings where you’d rather be high,
second hand smart cars,
social media kids,
the calories of takeaway pizza,
an automated job,
a joke through email,
losing your loser friends,
a reality tv wife,
watching other women in commute,
being in love with the idea of a home,
hating the reality of it,
domestic duties,
a broken hoover,
a filthy semi detached,
a slob in the mirror,
the 24 hour gym routine,
what matters,
who doesn’t,
something new on facebook,
someone old in a selfie,
the familiar nostlgia,
the repressed junkie within,
the commitment of 2.5 kids and a second rate mortgage
anonymous middle age…
….Choose life
Choose life.
Choose love.
Choose an Asda 6 pack of eggs because you want all three of the above.
And maybe a spongecake for dessert.
Choose modern life.
Choose sexism, racism, and fascism.
Choose war,
Hate and and ivory fucking tower.
Choose a Wotsit for a President.
And a spineless jellyfish for a PM.
Choose zero compassion.
Choose a short memory,
And a small mind.
Choose FOX, THE SUN, and the Daily Fucking Mail.
Choose to be a complete and utter c***.
Choose modern life.
I choose not to choose modern life.
Reasons?
There’s plenty.
But mainly so I can sleep at night.
Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose alternative working hours. Choose a questionable career path. Choose a fucking big coat, choose thick-rimmed glasses, braces, exposed ankles and bergamot-infused beard oil. Choose craft beer, low conformity, and overly designed toothbrushes. Choose repurposed forklift pallets. Choose a home brew kit. Choose your spiraliser. Choose “lifewear” and a matching French bulldog. Choose a battered three-piece table at full price from a disused nuclear power plant in a range of fucking wood grains. Choose fixed-gear bikes and wondering where the nearest soy fucking latté with a shot of dehumidified Kale is on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on your supposedly one-of-a-kind Latvian hunting stool reading hyperbolic, faux-Scandinavian design blogs, stuffing fucking bulgur wheat into your mouth. Choose lacking a purpose at the end of it all, pissing your last in a pretentious design studio, nothing more than an embarrassment to the free-spirited, yet identically dressed brats you spawned to replace yourselves.
Choose your future.
Choose east.
Nailed it
Fuck Life. Choose Heroin
Choose Like.
Choose right. Then left. Endlessly swiping until you find the right one or there’s no one left.
Choose staring at your phone instead of into her eyes.
Choose your dinner to be delivered on the back of a motorbike.
Choose a seat reservation but stand due to a delayed service.
Choose the rat race to feed the fat cats.
Choose an internet diagnosis instead of your doctor.
Choose a high-rent flat with a low-rent landlord.
Choose Netflix over nature.
Choose not to choose your Prime Minister.
Choose your insurer based on a free cuddly toy.
Choose unexpected item in the bagging area.
Choose the overpriced smashed avocado on sour dough with a side order of hashtags and a Valencia filter.
Choose fake facts and fight anyone that disagrees with you using the bash of a keyboard button.
Choose Skip Ad.
Choose text + drive followed by hit + run.
Choose a career spitting poison on a page for a tabloid newspaper.
Choose corrections and clarifications hidden on page 33 in the smallest font size available.
Choose hypocrisy branded as democracy
Choose a new password that must have a minimum of 8 characters and at least one upper case.
Choose a cheap foreign holiday.
Choose a fortnight with hand luggage only.
Choose pointing at the menu, shouting ‘chips’ and berating the waiter’s lack of English.
Choose unidentifiable celebrities shagging on reality TV.
Choose to check your phone again.
Choose scrolling through someone else’s edited life.
Choose Like.
Hello Liam, you’re on of our runners up! Congratulations. Please drop me a line at salonee.gadgil@centaurmedia.com, with your postal address so we can have your poster delivered to you. Thanks!
Choose 374 friends, 35 apps, 2403 tweets.
Choose artificial social life, Tinder, Grindr, Uber,
Choose power, GAFA and Big Data.
Choose food delivery, APM and protein shakes.
Choose overtaxed booze and plain tobacco packaging.
Choose mass surveillance, free newsapers, Google Translate.
Choose a job you’re not going to keep.
Choose contactless, airsickness and loneliness.
Choose a bank making profits when you don’t.
Choose 10 years of crisis.
Choose lies.
Choose not to choose.
Be different and strike back.
Survive.
Choose love.
Choose her. Choose him. Choose them.
Choose sex, marriage, divorce, another. Choose the prom queen, the cougar, the Virgin. Choose Freeview. Choose Sky. Choose Netflix. Choose to chill. Choose live streaming. Choose binge watching. Choose to stay at home. Choose the sofa, the bed, the floor. Choose to avoid the desk, phone in sick. Choose online shops, next-day delivery, same-day delivery. Choose to have it now, you can always send it back.
Choose a bag for life, save yourself 5p. Choose the planet. Choose a new world. Choose your own world. Choose to do what you want. Choose to be what you want. And do it all whilst sat in the same underwear you’ve worn for days.
Choose to scratch, itch, poke. Choose to like. Choose to follow. Choose celebrity. Choose fake news and ‘alternative facts’. Choose protests. Choose to stand up. Choose to speak out. Choose to stick together.
Choose love.
choose strife
choose fear
choose comparison
choose economy
choose alternative facts
choose viral
choose renting
choose staycation
choose treatment
choose loneliness
choose vaping
choose spellchek
choose traffic
choose organic
choose vinyl
choose contactless
choose gender
choose quinoa
choose black friday
choose flat white
choose abstract leggings
choose jobshare
choose surgery
choose insomnia
choose in
choose out
choose right
choose wrong
choose bollocks
choose again
choose again
choose again
choose till conformity
choose strife
Choose life.
Choose a phone.
Choose an internet provider.
Choose a music subscription service.
Choose a gym membership, Dry January and doing brunch.
Choose reading printed publications, drinking craft beer and eating street food because you “like the human touch”.
Choose the apps that’ll do everything else for you.
Choose to delete your social media posts when they don’t get “enough” likes.
Choose selfishness, greed, dishonesty and corruption.
Choose looking at houses you’ll never be able to afford because you chose a career out of passion.
Choose signing a Change.org petition that Parliament will ignore.
Choose a bubble.
Choose life.
choose:
life
no mortgage
an unpaid internship
not to start a family
a great fucking big iPhone you can’t afford
air wheels
hoverboards
a virtual reality
better friends
good mental health
to do some ‘colouring in’
your soul mate on tinder
to pay for healthcare
to remain
to protest
the future
‘clean eating’
a fucking spiraliser
netflix and chill
no pension
wisely
any kind of future
a ticket to mars
to ignore the state of the world and take selfies you selfish bastards
to fight poverty and racism
global bloody warming
our future
choose life…
Choose…
a life
a path
a team
a really small coffee cup
silky underwear
crash helmets
desk toys
chia seeds
early nights
expensive hand wash
weekend craft
dog videos
Tesco own brand
a campervan
your mum
bake sales
friendship bracelets
software updates
a non-alcoholic cocktail
BBC
taking the train
something with hummus
Netflix
politics
squad goals
silly, famous people
your future
life…
Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career.
Choose a company that gives you more.
Choose somewhere that makes you feel
valued. Choose something special. Choose
to be part of a new and exciting journey.
Choose a role that gives back just as you
choose to give it. Choose to unlock potential.
Choose to coach. Choose to repair. Choose
to build. Choose to fix. Choose commercially.
Choose to do more for others. Choose not to be
9 – 5. Choose flexibility over structure. Choose
to make a difference to other people’s lives.
Choose to be part of a team. Choose to support
communities. Choose to learn. Choose to build
relationships. Choose the right thing over the
rule thing. Choose to be brave. Choose to be
different. Choose your benefits. Choose
your pension. Choose more holidays. Choose
a gym membership and get fit for your holidays.
Choose dental care. Choose childcare. Choose
to cycle to work. Choose what’s right for you.
Choose your career. Choose Bromford.
Choose a life
Choose the “right” way
Choose a 9 to 5
a mortage and a house in the suburbs
Choose apple
Choose android
Choose facebook
Choose 357 friends and no-one to talk to
Choose #isthereanybodyoutthere?
Choose selling up and moving on
Choose meeting new people
Choose seeing new places
Choose volunteering and finding what you love
Choose to start with yourself
Choose dry January
Choose drunk February
Choose the risks that are yours to take
Choose your own way
Choose life…
choose….
us
them
me
minority
mediocrity
majority
popularity
individuality
belief
faith
damnation
to rock
or roll
left
right
straight on
to go back
insight
ignorance
this life
the next life
this time
next time
….to choose
#life
Choose life. Choose allowing access to your location. Choose a filter. Choose reduced brie and grape on wholemeal. Choose giving it a miss and have one for me. Choose box sets. Choose publishing your running times. Choose immigration arguments with your dad. Choose documenting your tea. Choose marshmallow world leaders. Choose celebrity Japanese cats. Choose Michael fucking McIntyre. Choose domestic cardio. Choose drop us on the corner mate, anywhere here will do. Choose Google’s tax bill. Choose they buy any car. Choose obligatory weekly missionary. Choose this quirky independent coffee shop with wifi and everything. Choose beard wax. Choose removing items from bagging areas. Choose the 1st world dash for a power socket. Choose just tired, that’s all. Choose carrying dogs up escalators, Choose explaining you’ve never been in a road accident. Choose clever political retweets. Choose no appointments till next week. Choose boat shoes and no socks. Choose exceeded data allowance. Choose good transport links and more space. Choose square photographs. Choose accidentally deliberate compositions. Choose doing it up to add value. Choose hypo-allergenic. Choose to both be pregnant. Choose faux-shit holes in Shoreditch. Choose undisciplined kids on buses. Choose iPad babies. Choose confectionary mobile games at 44 years old. Choose TV spoiler rage. Choose 500 wedding photos in your face. Choose life.
Choose life.
Choose a flat you can’t afford. Friends you don’t particularly like.
And a dog that lost its novelty after the 17th shit on your floor.
Choose reality TV. Tabloid papers. And generic music.
Choose the most unfulfilling job.
Then get up and do it every day.
Choose an abortion because you can barely afford groceries for yourself.
Choose micro-dosing on LSD – trying to be as happy as you were at 14.
And when that doesn’t work, choose copious amounts of vodka.
Whiskey. Brandy. Meth. Mandy.
Anything.
Choose absolute addiction.
Choose a monotonous existence.
Choose your future.
Choose life.
Choose life:
Choose a device.
Choose an addiction.
Choose a filter.
Choose an escape.
Choose to share.
Choose to like.
Choose self-proclaimed idols, gurus and content creators.
Choose to follow.
Choose viral.
Choose jealousy.
Choose a distraction
Choose indulgence.
Choose friends.
Choose fake friends.
Choose friends you wouldn’t meet in real life.
Choose to show only the good.
Choose an excuse.
Choose medication.
Choose to grow further away from existence.
Choose to be isolated.
Choose life.
Choose life. Choose vaping. Choose £6 pints.
Choose online petitions, clicking like and sitting on your arse
Choose all the feels, totes emosh and #blessed
Choose WhatsApp ticks, and Facebook dicks
Choose swipe for serotonin
Choose your credit card
Choose generation rent, clean eating, house white
Choose internships, forgetting to vote
Choose binge drinking, existential crises, illegal streaming
Choose spiralisers, spinning and pseudoscience
Choose spunking your salary on ubers, artisan everything, superfood salads
Choose living with parents, sponging off mates
Choose memes, choose gifs, choose hashtags and apps
Choose IVF and geriatric parenthood
Choose your overdraft, choose contactless, choose balance transfers, choose debt
Choose cheap flights, city breaks and Monday morning shakes
Choose anxiety, CBT and mindfulness.
Choose telling yourself that none of this is your fault, the economy tanked and the banks screwed you over, your parents aren’t rich and your boss is a bitch, you couldn’t save because your rent’s gone up and the pound’s gone down.
Choose a job not a career, choose a life, not a dream, choose getting on with it.
Congratulations Sally! You’re our winner. Please drop me a line at salonee.gadgil@centaurmedia.com, with your postal address so we can have your poster delivered to you.
A worthy winner. A great read. 🙂
Choose
Division.
America the Beautiful.
The land of the free.
The Home of the brave.
Allegiance.
God.
No God.
Money.
Greed.
Power.
War.
Information.
Facts.
Alternate Facts.
Distortion.
Friends.
Enemies.
Frenemies.
Life.
Death.
Choose life. Choose your precious smartphone. Choose narcissism and selfie sticks. Choose Uber, Deliveroo and online dating. Choose FitBits and self-improvement. Choose masturbation. Choose the herd mentality, trolling culture and the turgid crap that is reality TV. Choose giving a damn about your privacy. Choose government surveillance, tracking cookies and facial recognition. Choose the police, kettling and racial profiling. Choose isolationism, alleged protectionism and border patrols. Choose turning our backs on Obama and voting for Donald fucking Trump, walling off Mexico and Islamophobia. Choose Brexit. Choose interfering in the Middle East and Africa. Choose trusting the conniving, supercilious banks. Choose escapism, geek culture and unrealistic heroes. Choose Benedict Cumberbatch and Tom bloody Hiddleston. Choose celebrity culture and becoming obsessed with each new shocking death. Choose being labelled and marketed to in every possible way. Choose being a millennial. Choose Generation Z.
Choose globalisation and losing our way.
Choose life.
Hi Michael, Congratulations! You’re on of our runners up. Please drop me a line at salonee.gadgil@centaurmedia.com, with your postal address so we can have your poster delivered to you.
Thanks, just replied. Hooray! And Sally was a worthy winner. Her speech rocked.
Choose…
a Manhattan entrepreneur.
narcissistic, psychopathic traits.
reservations at Dorsia (21 Club).
an apartment overlooking Central Park.
yuppie culture.
excess, excess, excess.
boardroom bullying.
endless handwashing.
gold-plated bathrooms.
dirty blondes.
golden showers.
leaked video tapes.
Brioni suits.
Hermès power ties.
a cold gaze.
little hands.
Make America Great Again.
murderous executive orders.
a real American Psycho in office.
Life…?
a dream
a keyboard
a cardboard
a life
a fucking big tapistry
rage against the machine
fuck you
compact tin can openers
electrical disc players
good god
levitation
teeth grinding
interesting fixtures
underrated bus stop artistry
a bleeding mountain
my friends
worn leisure
stolen luggage
a distinctly italian laugh
shreddies
stepping on my ear
ouch
heroin
great big clipper ship
happy house of spice
selfish, fucked up rats
your mine
life…
Liked it a lot!! Do you write elsewhere? Would like to read more of your work.
Choose:
a box set
zero-hours contracts
internships
shared accommodation
a fucking big television
to build your own PC
bikes without gears
a smart watch
a set of cheffy knives
a marathon
vegan
complimentary medicine
a mortgage
any fucking mortgage
shared ownership
instagram
snapchat
filters
a vintage suit
Ikea hacks on Pinterest
a faux leather sofa
Pointless
food trucks
never growing old
populism
isolationism
the future
to simply fucking exist
Choose Likes.
Choose phones.
Choose an image.
Choose On Demand.
Choose a fucking big Ultra High Def television, choose iPhones, a Dyson, smart watches and Virtual Reality.
Choose gluten free, Kale, and Lean in 15.
Choose part buy part rent.
Choose high interest ISA’s.
Choose colour swatches.
Choose Nike Roshe’s and matching sweat shirts.
Choose a phone contract you cant afford.
Choose Ikea Furniture and wondering who the fuck you are on every morning.
Choose streaming mind numbing curated tv shows, drinking yourself to fucking death. Choose second screening.
Choose bragging about what you have on social media, likes for likes, choose selfies and becoming nothing but an anxiety ridden, self obsessed and materialistic fuck up.
Choose your future.
Choose life.
Choose life.
Choose a cause.
Choose charity.
Choose to help.
Choose to make a difference on a Sunday morning.
Choose change.
Choose a good deed, a moral reward and raise awareness.
Choose to be a nicer person.
Choose to kick a bad habit and feel better.
Choose to make the most of your time.
Choose to give back.
Choose to do something that matters.
Choose to be the person your dog thinks you are.
Choose your future.
Choose life.
(http://www.revivedigitalmedia.com/news/revive-charity-challenge/)
Choose a job in Creative
Choose writing
Choose editing
Choose proofreading
Choose someone else changing your fucking words
Choose briefs that make no sense
Choose the fear of the blank page
Choose endless streams of coffee
Choose praying for ‘that’ spark
Choose waiting for fuckwits to do their bit
Choose deadlines shooting by
Choose the sausage factory
Choose suffocating your talent
Choose your future
Choose a job in Creative
Choose life
Choose a shit job
Choose to blame immigration
Choose false democracy
Choose right wing politics
Choose PayPal
Choose to max your credit card
On materialistic shit to relieve the pain
Choose vaping in the belief that it’s so much better for you than fags
Choose to seek validation from strangers by posting selfies on social media
Choose to be a keyboard warrior and belittle other people’s posts to further validate your own meaningless existence
Choose friends with benefits
Choose Netflix and chill
Choose chlamydia
Choose a generic philosophical quote to get tattooed
Choose to fight your way to the middle classes
Choose to change your car every two years despite the crippling debt hanging round your neck like the drab tie you wear to the prison you call work
Then after fighting to survive every day, retire on a state pension that requires you to choose between heating and eating
Nothing more than an inconvenience to an over populated under funded society
Choose life
Well since these are testy times and I ride a big offroad bike I went down this rocky trail:
Choose the rush. Choose departure. Choose a rocky steep. Choose adrenaline. Choose a fucking big dualsport bike. Choose single track, dodging trees, leaping roots and chucking wheelies over every rock and ridge. Choose forearm-pump, full-body sweat and mentally unsound decisions. Choose big fucking knobbies, strong rims. Choose a 950. Choose your riding buddies. Choose good armour and stiff boots and bugs in your teeth. Choose a two-man tent, a Thermarest and a vast range of fucking beers and steaks. Choose moto DIY and wondering where the fuck you camped every Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that beast devouring mind-blowing, spirit-bending scenery, stuffing fucking massive experiences into your memory banks. Choose having no bone left to break at the end of it all, pishing your last over Nanga Parbat’s Rupal Face, nothing more than an anomaly to the self-possessed, fucking brilliant brats you have spawned to replace yourself. Choose 100 horsepower. Choose a blast of loamy forest air, choose third gear. But why would I want to do a thing like that? Because I chose not to choose your life: I chose something else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you’ve got a big fucking dirtbike that goes wherever you aim it?
Shit your pants, quit your job, grab a beer or drill a hole.
Find the perfect girl and a picnic date, texts over voice, porn over touch.
Do whatever, and steal whenever, but make a choice.
Choose you, choose not to choose, grab a plate and fill it on.
Choose life.
Choose your future.
Choose a racist, sexist, homophobic president.
Choose to spit on so called minorities.
Choose not to accept global fuckin warming but instead burn fossil fuels until we see the ground move beneath our feet.
Choose a country.
Choose a dictator.
Choose to ride a tiny boat in the middle of the mediterranean in pure desperation knowing fine rightly it could be your last.
Pick grammar.
Pick your nose.
Pick Yes or No, stay or remain.
Choose to hug your kids.
Choose warmth, love, compassion.
Choose not to kill yourself.
Choose Life.
choose
right not wrong
big not small
now not then
all not nothing
full not empty
present not absent
together not apart
always not never
bright not dim
win not lose
forwards not backwards
can not can’t
first not last
give not take
love not hate
in not out
glad not sad
justice not injustice
true not false
yes not no
love not hate
peace not war
alive not dead
choose
a positive life…
Choose life.
Build your own paradise because noone will ever do that for you.
Choose hyphens as in self-satisfaction and life-long-learning.
Choose certain numbers to live by. One wife, two cars, three kids and four lovers for every weekend of each month.
Copulate. Taste your own cum.
Masturbate with your veins sticking out and moan all the way while you’re at it.
Choose exercises for your spine, jog in your lunch break.
Take photos of what you eat and what you don’t eat.
Choose organic and always avoid gluten.
Choose the mirror, pose for yourself and don’t be afraid of wearing pink.
Buy everything that has a name starting with a lower case “i”, stay young, watch EZO TV and act as if you were interesting.
Choose life.
Pretend that you matter.
Choose Life
Choose sitting in a traffic jam in your Personal Contract Purchase car with heated seats and rear parking sensors and its ‘final balloon payment’
Choose looking out of the car window at a bus stop, full of kids standing side by side with their heads down, texting their virtual ‘friends’ and not saying a word to each other
Choose to sit at a desk all day, typing things into spreadsheets and eating pre-packaged, plastic sandwiches and your choice from a thousand flavours of crisps,
All whilst wearing a ‘smart device’ on your wrist that tells you that you haven’t moved enough and that you still need to complete your 10,000 steps….
Choose Key Performance Indicators and Blue Sky Thinking
Choose an annual appraisal with a Manager who’s barely started shaving, telling you the schematics of how you can progress in the job you can barely stomach
Choose a Bank of England Base Rate Tracker Mortgage, with the lowest level of interest in history
Choose to buy a massive, brand new, Luxury Home, in the full knowledge that if interest rates go back up you’ll never be able to afford the repayments
Choose Online Shopping, Free Home Delivery, and precision timed delivery slots, so you can stay on the Sofa, fail to complete your 10,000 steps and hardly ever leave the fucking house
Choose to work slowly towards Type 2 Diabetes, sitting on your backside watching other fat people try to lose weight as quickly as possible for your viewing pleasure
Choose to stick your enormous Digital TV on, and then not watch it, instead focussing on how many ‘likes’ you got on Facebook for your latest carefully choreographed Selfie
Choose to be Friends on Social Media with people that you would actually avoid if you spotted them in the Supermarket
Choose Politics. Choose to decide which Party to vote for based purely on how aesthetically pleasing the leader looks when he is eating a bacon sandwich
Choose a Diet. The Paleo diet, the Atkins diet, the 5:2 diet, the Cambridge plan, the low GI approach, Veganism, Gluten Free, Alcohol Free, Sugar Free, and then stick to it for approximately 3 weeks before going back to eating what the fuck you want
Choose retirement
Choose finding out the pension plan you’ve paid into for 30 years is virtually worthless
Choose growing old. Choose to live to a very old age with barely any quality of life at all, being kept going by ‘advances’ in medicine
Choose a Nursing Home.
Choose having to disinherit your loved ones by selling the house you’ve worked decades to own so that you can afford to be abused and mistreated in a £800 per week ‘Care’ Home….
Choose stress, choose worrying about it all, choose levels of anxiety and depression in modern society that are unprecedented. Choose technology. Choose 3 parent babies. Choose assisted suicide. Choose having to fight for a right to die, whilst people so ill they don’t even know who they are anymore are being kept alive. Choose a crumbling National Health Service. Choose overcrowded prisons. Choose highly strung out kids trying to achieve their ridiculous curriculum targets. Choose wondering what the hell the next 20 years will bring and how your own kids will get through it all.
Choose Your Future. CHOOSE LIFE.
Choose ADD
Choose distraction
Choose cultural regurgitation
Choose service providers
Choose 140 characters
Choose content
Choose uninformed opinions
Choose entitlement
Choose resignation
Choose controlled choice
Choose ADD
Choose…ooh a picture of a cat!
Choose life
Choose investing options
Choose a hobby
Choose a partner
Choose an app for your live video and social media stories
Choose smart phones
Electric cars
YZY Boosts
Smart home appliances
Choose a gym
facebook reactions
and a fitness blog to follow
Choose a student loan repayment plan
Choose a downtown loft
Choose your mates
Choose sweatpants
and a minimalist sofa to wear ’em out on
Choose binge watching TV shows
and finding out what in the shite happens in the new Game of Thrones
All while stuffing your face with Uber Eats from 3 different restaurants
and more binge watching to make you feel better about it
Choose fighting the system and protesting for your miserable little life just to be cast aside into the deep dark hole from whence you came
Choose your future
Choose life
Choose on demand.
Choose instant notifications.
Choose free shipping and free returns with an annual subscription.
Choose five star Trip Advisor reviews.
Choose performance plans, KPIs, 360 degree feedback and lifelong learning.
Choose loyalty points, a smart fridge, and Taste the Difference for a weekend treat.
Choose debt.
Choose accepting that every time you look at a screen everyone is having a better, happier and more successful time than you.
Choose Like.
Choose #legday, Snapchat filters and swiping right.
Choose cocktails from jam jars in a faux-industrial bar and ignoring the homeless guy outside the chicken shop you passed on the way.
Choose late night conversations with AI chatbots.
Choose 4G anxiety, a seven day travel pass, and wondering when your story will finally begin.
Choose:
Someone else’s life
A dead end job
You’re dad’s career
No family
Blue skies
A fake big smile
Time flying by
The same office life
Cold coffee
Cheap wine
Truth
Dare
Reality TV on repeat
Penthouse suite
500 friends on Facebook
2 in real life
The truth
Same lies
Same big smile
Boredom ruling your mind
Your old goals
Your pride
Your wasted time
Yourself
Life …
Choose life,
Choose a job,
Choose a career
Choose a family
Choose a fucking big television
Choose to absorb shit about celebrities and hide from the reality of the real world
Choose politicians based on their outfits and if they like to go to the pub
Choose to ignore the warning signs
Choose to believe everything you read on Facebook, see on the news, people tell you
Choose to reject people based on the fact that their homes have been bombed and they have nowhere else to go
Choose to step over the homeless man in the doorway
Choose to be made redundant due to budget cuts
Choose to default on the mortgage on the house you bought because it made you look good to your colleagues
Choose sitting on that park bench, the rain soaking through your donated sleeping bag, begging for a warm cup of coffee
Choose to be surprised when you are the one being taken away as an embarrassment to society, a fucked up mess to be stepped over
Choose your future
Choose life
But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life: I chose something else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you’ve got a fucking big television?
choose
—
a life
a job
a career
a family
a fucking massive 4K television
10kg load washing machines
driverless cars
faceless music streaming services
Joseph Joseph compact can openers
good wealth
cholesterol lowering spreads
mental health insurance
low-interest mortgage repayments
shared ownership homes
virtual friends
street wear
hard shell luggage
a three-seater Mid-century sofa
Farrow & Ball tester pots
lounging on that divan
reality shows
Abel & Cole organic boxes
trolling away
miserable world
selfish, youtube brats
your future
life…
Choose student halls posters encrusted with blue-tack.
Choose Army recruitment advertising copy.
Choose ‘Jet – Are You Gonna Be My Girl?’
Choose Adidas Sambas and drainpipe denim.
Choose Buckfast record sales profits.
Choose loosely-kerned Helvetica (Bold).
Choose Underworld reunion gigs filled with 40 year-old men.
Choose Vetements, Gosha, Liam Hodges, and Wang for Balenciaga.
Choose Twin Town, 24 Hour Party People, and Human Traffic.
Choose Tika Massala, not sausage & beans.
Choose NHS, not UKIP.
Choose Bremain, not Brexit.
Choose to save POPLAR/ Belfron Tr/ Limehouse Cut, not to build new condos.
Choose to wear FUCK FCUK t-shirts by STEVE OKLYN, instead of moronic ‘Nillionaire’ (100 pound apiece, ffs) FCUK shirts.
Choose to save nightclubs – Fabric over Shoreditchification of Landan.
Choose smoking over jogging. I’ve had enough of your marathons!
Choose TESCO, instead of Island / Lidl.
Choose to walk, whenever TFL feels like it.